Three: I hate being late

This is one of my pet hates, I hate being late.

I’m the sort of person that turns up early for anything vaguely important and the only times I’m ever late is usually when I’m with friends and I can get away with it a bit more. Mostly because I’m still often there before anyone anyway…

I’m currently doing my master’s degree and this morning I was late for my lecture.

For one reason or another, my buses were delayed and I was ten minutes late. Even though I’d messaged a friend to tell my lecturer I was going to be late and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it, I could still feel the horrible curl of anxiety in my gut.

That’s what it boils down to, I hate being late because of the anxiety it gives me.

Truthfully, I’m alot better than I used to be: I once left my flat about 40 minutes earlier than I had to get to somewhere about 10 minutes down the road because I was worried about finding somewhere to park. I was so early I just sat in my car for half an hour before it became acceptable to arrive where I needed to be. I definitely not that bad any more.

But I still felt the horrible sickness in my gut and I had to take several deep breaths before I could open the door and slide in to a seat near the door. Did my lecturer care? I’m pretty sure he didn’t. Did the rest of my class care? Probably not. So why do I still get worked up over such a simple, small thing?

It’s a one word answer: anxiety.

Sometimes, I’m very lucky and I can forget I have to live with it. But little events like this remind me that it never really goes away and all I can do is take deep breathes, make sure I do everything I can to make myself feel a little calmer and keep going.

Once upon a time, I probably would have skipped that lecture. But today I didn’t and that (for me) is a success! Plus the sun was out today and it was an absolutely beautiful spring day and seeing the sunshine made me feel alot better! Also milkshakes – milkshakes are good!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: